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Much Ado About Me is a warm wise and wonderfully entertaining autobiography, jammed with extraordinary events nd even more extraordinary people. Here is Fred Allen's early life in teh suburbs of Boston; his apprenticeship in the Boston Public Library; the happy exciting round of Amateur Nights; the wonderful, improbable world of Scollay Square; the hopes, the anxieties and the fantastic adventures of a smalltime entertainer billed as Freddy James, the "World's Worst Juggler."
- Sales Rank: #489723 in Books
- Brand: LITTLE BROWN AND COMPANY
- Published on: 1956-01-01
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Binding: Hardcover
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
"Wind of my prowess spread through the grammar school like bad news at a pessimists' convention..."
By Annie Van Auken
Cambridge, MA. native Fred Allen was born John Florence Sullivan on May 31st, 1894. He's fondly remembered by classic radio aficionados as the witty host of the the Linit Bath Club Revue, Town Hall Tonight, the Texaco Star Theater and his self-named Fred Allen Show. It was during the Texaco days that Fred developed one of radio's most popular features, Allen's Alley, a "theater of the mind" spot where Fred's chosen topic of the day was kicked around by such colorful characters as Mrs. Pansy Nussbaum, Titus Moody, Sen. Beauregard Claghorn and poet Falstaff Openshaw, who was played by Alan Reed, later the voice of ABC-TV's The Flintstones.
Fred was a fixture on radio for nearly two decades, but he was never as successful on TV. In 1954, Allen published a reminscence of his radio days, TREADMILL TO OBLIVION. He spent the last two years of his life writing in chronological order his pre-radio life story, MUCH ADO ABOUT ME. When Allen died of a coronary on St. Patrick's Day 1956, this book was complete up to the year 1928. Fred's widow, Mary Portland Sullivan (aka Portland Hoffa), published it as is, where her husband left off.
In well-written prose in which we always can hear his voice, Fred skillfully tells by turn the story of his childhood, taking up juggling as a hobby, and being encouraged to go on the stage after a successful turn at an employer's talent show. During his teens, Fred was a stigmatized "coast defender," that is, a local entertainer who had never played vaudeville. He made a dollar here and there shuttling between cities and talent shows, all the time polishing his act and developing a joke-filled monologue. Finding a name change necessary to climb the next Show Biz rung, Allen became Freddy St. James and had his first taste of small-time "vaud," touring only minor New England houses.
After briefly appearing in New York and jumping around the country, 21-year-old Allen grabbed an opportunity for an extended Australia/New Zealand gig. By now he was Freddy James, with an added banjo and ventriloquist's dummy. Following many months overseas, Fred resumed his American vaudeville career. Over time, with sight gag gimmicks and improved monologues, the juggling was reduced and then eliminated altogether. Mostly a small time headliner, he did also play the big circuits, but not as the next-to-close act.
Later came appearances in and writing for long-forgotten Schubert brothers stage productions like The Passing Show of 1922 and The Greenwich Village Follies. Fred's story ends abruptly with a two-week flop, Arthur Hammerstein's Polly.
It's clear that Fred Allen the radio star was forged during his vaudeville and variety show days. This step-by-step growth is interesting reading, but more so are Allen's comments about the Show Biz folks he met along the way, mainly the peculiar vaud performers who long ago passed into obscurity, also some we still remember. As an example, Fred knew George Burns when he was a softshoe comic working with a straight man.
Always however, what comes through clearest is that unique Allen humor, which was often based in absurd comparatives. To close, here's just a few examples of it from "Much Ado About Me":
"Standing up, Ed was tall and emaciated. Sitting down, Ed was short and emaciated."
"If (Frank) Fay's ego had been acid, he would have consumed himself... The last time I saw Fay he was walking down Lovers' Lane, holding his own hand."
"Cassie (French) had an enormous bust. With her short neck and protruding bosom, Cassie always looked as though she were looking over someone else's behind."
"The missionary was on his way to the Samoan Islands, where he planned to teach the natives what they were doing wrong."
"If VARIETY's pronunciamentos had the power to wither an actor's future, today I would be gainfully employed as a pretzel salter."
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Sweeping Review of The Good, The Bad & The Unimaginably Ugly
By Donald P. Reed
This is a composite review of the following:
"all the sincerity in hollywood," Fred Allen [1894-1956], Selections from the Writings of Radio's Legendary Comedian, Stuart Hample, Ed. [1926- 2010]; Fulcrum Publishing (2001 hardcover; FIVE STARS)
"Fred Allen, His Life & Wit," Robert Taylor; Little Brown & Co. (1989; hardcover; NO STARS)
"fred allen's letters," Joe McCarthy, ed.; Doubleday & Co., Inc. (1965; paperback; MINUS STARS) [Note: Already reviewed on June 6, 2011]
"Much Ado About Me," Fred Allen; Little Brown & Co. (1956; hardcover; FIVE STARS)
"Treadmill To Oblivion," Fred Allen; Little Brown & Co. (1954; hardcover; FIVE STARS)
"Funny Men Don't Laugh," Arnold Auerbach [1912-1998]; Doubleday & Co. (1965 hardcover; FIVE STARS)
*****
The Genesis Of Reality TV [R.I.P.]:
"Vaudeville could not vouch for the honesty, the integrity, or the mentality of the individuals who collectively made up the horde the medium embraced. All the human race demands of its members is that they be born. That is all vaudeville demanded. You just had to be born.
"You could be ignorant & be a star. You could be a moron & be wealthy... [the performers were] an endless, incongruous swarm... dragging performing lions... & monkeys in their wake... There were hypnotists... one-legged dancers... mind readers... ventriloquists... clay modelers & educated geese.
"Vaudeville asked only that you own an animal... or have a minimum of talent or a maximum of nerve. With these dubious assets, vaudeville offered fame & riches. It was up to you."
--- Fred Allen, "Much Ado About Me" (1956), describing Vaudeville, the live theatre entertainment in which he sought refuge from his life as a young library runner in Boston making $1.20 a week.
This all-powerful entertainment network fell victim to radio in the 1920s, a medium in which Fred's radio programs - among them, "Allen's Alley" - became sustained successes for the inconceivable duration of 17 consecutive years!
As Rory McIlroy put it last Sunday, after having failed to hit nine consecutive holes-in-one & thereby continue his rampage through Professional Tiger Who? Golf, "It had to end sooner or later."
So did network radio - in the late 1940s when it was dispatched as swiftly by The Next Big Thing, television.
(Note to people born after the year 2005, reading this in 2025-30: "TV" was the thing that was slam-dunked into a media coffin by the crap you're now watching on non-Mount Sinai Tablets & IPhones. Including this review.)
"Radio could not survive because it was a by-product of advertising. Ability, merit & talent were not requirements of writers & actors working in the industry. Audiences had to be attracted, for advertising purposes, at any cost & any artifice. Standards were gradually lowered... Radio was the only profession in which the unfit could survive."
(Sound familiar?)
Fred - #1 rated in 1947 --- in 1949 was out of work.
(Post Note 02/17/15: This record for this swift fall from Media Grace would stand for sixty-seven years; when, in late January 2015 --- & for an entirely different, dishonorable reason --- NBC News's Brian William's career imploded & then vanished in a mere TWO WEEKS.)
With not much anywhere to go for the first time since the early 1930s, he wrestled with his formidable inner doubts about being just more than a superb comedy writer for radio programs.
He won the struggle. His wonderful memoir "Treadmill To Oblivion" sold like hotcakes ("Every Ancient Cliché Must Go!" sale now underway).
Shocked by his success & revived in spirit, Fred commenced working on a second & equally good (& good-natured) memoir, "Much Ado About Me," which he did not live to see in print, felled by his then-incurable high blood pressure at the age of 62 on March 17th, 1956.
Both are equally & warmly recommended.
*****
What other books about this remarkable man, universally liked despite his curmudgeonly ways, exist?
--- Robert Taylor's biography, "Fred Allen: His Life & Wit" (1989) is stale & & witless. Allen had an adventuresome & exciting life, but you'd never know it from this volume of dust & snore.
--- I haven't started up on Alan Havig's "Fred Allen's Radio Comedy" (1990), which someone yesterday endorsed with a tentative "I hope you won't hate it." I probably won't.
--- "fred allen's letters" is a flat-out disaster! Micro-splinters of Fred's valuable wit are entombed in an editing fiasco nominated as one of 1965's "Publishing Disasters of The Year."
(Fred never capitalized letters in words that he typed "because I can't shift for myself." This explains the non-salary capped "l" of "letters," which, coincidently, I also reviewed on Amazon. Don't read it; it's even worse than the book.)
--- "Funny Men Don't Laugh" will make you wonder why anyone in any era would want to work for the Jon Stewarts of the world.
Read Arnold Auerbach's account about being part of David Freedman's comedy-writing team in the 1930s, serving up tons of plagiarized material for the likes of radio stars such as Eddie Cantor (as obnoxious as Stewart & considerably better paid).
Arnold & writing partner Herman Wouk gave notice to Freedman ("Lou Jacobs") --- & then ended up having to work for Freedman for an additional EIGHT MONTHS before they could join up with Fred Allen, for whom they wrote comedy from 1936 to 1941.
Arnold's observations about Fred are thoughtfully precise --- he had his father's instinct for diagnosis as well as a sharp wit. They leave no doubt that John Sullivan's success --- first in escaping from the grim circumstances of his childhood, & then surviving in the cutthroat world of vaudeville, prior to becoming America's beloved radio star --- had been acquired at a terrible price.
"Funny Men's" writing & editing is superb. It reminds me of an almost identically well-written & edited memoir by Steve Crist, "Betting On Myself" (published by DRF Press in 2003). Both "Funny Men" & "Betting" left me with only one regret --- this coming from someone who has been howling like a maniac for years about verbose authors:
Both memoirs are too SHORT!
(Added to this review in the posted comments below is a list of the real names versus the aliases given to the people in "Funny Men" by Auerbach; & an index of articles & obituaries about the members of the remarkably talented Freedman family.)
*****
This brings us to Stuart Hample's "all the sincerity in hollywood," which is good because now I can stop writing when I get to the bottom of the page. I had no idea "sincerity" existed until I was contracted to haunt a house & the book hit me in the head while I was trying on sheets in the attic.
At any rate, "Stoo," whose "Introduction" is worth its weight in gold, contacted a publisher in Golden, Colorado, home of the worst non-alcoholic beer in America - "Coors N.A. Swill" - where, a decade later, I interviewed Colorado School of Mines graduates who had already been hired as entry-level canaries, the ones that keel over when the methane levels go up, up, up (brave young men, they).
Fulcrum Publishers evidently was sold on Mr. Hample's desire to try to revive the fallen memory of one of America's greatest comedians.
As a result, Mr. & Mrs. Fulcrum probably lost their shirts bucking the oncoming wave of All Intelligence Will Now Be Beamed To Customers On Cell Phones (this was back in 2001 when lots of Custers in Publishing still had not yet grasped which way the electronic winds were blowing).
I hope they ended up with a runaway smash hit with one of those stupid "Garfield" comic strip reprint books. Those things always seem to do well.
"sincerity." Buy it.
*****
Post Note (10/14/14): I recently listened to an Allen show, taped in front of a live (& how!) audience in Rockefeller Center in 1945, shortly after World War II had ended.
Minerva Pious was one of the participants on Fred's best segment, "Allen's Alley," in which Fred would knock on the doors of the homes of ordinary people & conduct fake interviews about the "issues of the day."
Minerva played "Mrs. Nussbaum," a Bronx housewife married to a man with --- given the social demographics of her neighborhood --- a most improbable name, "Pierre" - Pierre Nussbaum.
Her earnest responses --- usually cast in a Yiddish sentence structure & delivered in English --- to Fred's questions were a gold mine of good-natured jokes, zingers & puns.
On December 7th, 1941, Japan's Emperor Hirohito became instantly well-known to --- & as the war years went by, increasingly despised by --- the American public.
And so here we are in "Allen's Alley" on the show mentioned above.
Fred knocks on Mrs. Nussbaum's door.
(Sound of door opening.)
Fred: "Well, if it isn't Mrs. Nussbaum!"
Mrs. Nussbaum: "You were expecting maybe Emperor Shapirohito?!"
KABOOM! The audience erupted in GALES of laughter!
Twelve seconds later, the laughter finally started to fade away. Fred tried to restart the skit by posing the next question - & was interrupted by a second, rolling peel of lighter laughter.
Then, a minute & half later, the house was convulsed again when they heard..."One morning, Pierre was putting on his beret..."
There were no berets in the Bronx, either. Not then.
(Synopsis is a permanent "poor relative" of the art of comedy. This can be heard first-hand on The Internet Archive. Type in Fred Allen's name, then proceed, scrolling down to the listing: "The surviving installments of the master satirist's final series, on NBC... through 1947 &... 1948-49. Including the 'Allen's Alley'...with announcer Kenny Delmar as Senator Claghorn, Parker Fennelly as Titus Moody, Minerva Pious as Mrs. Nussbaum, & Peter Donald as Ajax Cassidy..." Click it. It's the first show at the top of the list on the new screen. The "Mrs. Nussbaum" skit starts @ 7 minutes & 50 seconds into the taping.)
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Worth Every Penny
By babyboomerlarry
Excellent companion book to the one he wrote two years earlier. This one dwells on his pre-radio career. Despite not going to college, Fred has a way with the English language that is superior to many with degrees in higher education.
Fred tells us about his various gigs jumping between Burlesque,Vaudeville and the legitimate theater. To boot, we get a feeling of what it must have been for constant life on the road. Ironically, there is no mention even once of Jack Benny of whom Fred fawns over in his autobiography of the radio days.
Sadly, the only time the writing appears to drop beneath the witty standards so well sustained throughout the books is during the last two chapters. I suspect that he did not have time to go back and edit it to his liking. As noted in the epilogue, the narrative ends abruptly and the book is published posthumously.
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